5 steps to cultivating Compassion in Boys!

5 steps to cultivating Compassion in Boys

Raising our kids to be successful in academics or rule-abiding citizens is not just enough. There are other essential things in life that your kids need to know. We are all social beings; we share our world with other people who are just like us. Hence imparting in your child, the humane way of treating others is very essential. Being compassionate is one such humane thing. Many of the existing stereotypes emphasize the fact that boys are not as compassionate as girls are. Boys are said to be aggressive and less emotional. There are indeed many ways to develop compassion in boys, and 5 such steps are as follows:

1. Giving a warm hug
In the early stages of life, a baby feels a sense of protection and feels connected to the mother. That is the power of touch. When you hug someone, it means that you are there for them and that you love them no matter what. It delivers feelings of love, safety, and of course compassion. There are studies that state that boys hardly use touch or hug as a way to communicate. The caretakers rarely touch their sons. It is either a pat on the shoulder or a shaking hand. It is because when boys mature, it sometimes maybe a little awkward to touch or hug. Hence it must be made sure that the parent not just communicates through words but also a meaningful touch or hug. If you still feel that a hug is awkward try holding hands and talking for some time. Make sure that boys also hug each other.






2. Practicing Gender equality
Stereotypes that exist about what a boy should do and what a girl should do are actually a cause for many significant issues in society. The society always tells the boys to be a man and not to cry but they fail to tell a boy to be a human and express their feelings when they are not feeling good. Hence the boys start assuming that crying, hugging, and being kind to others is a girly thing and that if they do it, society will ridicule them. Rectifying this must start from every house; parents must emphasize the fact that boys can also express their feelings and ask for any help. Boys must realize that being compassionate is something that goes beyond all the stereotypes and that is very essential for their emotional well-being.

3. Being a role model
Children learn most of the things by observing their primary caretakers, i.e., their parents. Boys prefer learning and acting like their fathers, while for girls it is their mothers. Hence firstly the fathers must be the boys’ role models. It starts from how the father treats the mother. If the father is aggressive and dominant, he will be a bad role model. Instead, if the father is helping, kind and loving to the mother, this will definitely instil compassion in the boy. It is not just the father; the mother also has a role in this. The way she treats her children and also her husband also matters. Here gender stereotypes must also be broken so that the boy stops believing such a thing. Other role models include the grandfather, teacher, uncle, etc.

4. Talking it out
When people talk and have deep conversations, there will be an expression of genuine feelings. People feel that they are being understood and feel comfortable. These are the main components of compassion. It is of no use when someone bottles up all their feelings, this happens especially in the cases of some boys. They must be encouraged to talk as this is very important for their mental health. The parent can spend some time sitting with the child every day and ask them as to what happened that day. This way it will encourage them to open up little but significant things in life. Teachers can also ask the students to share anything and everything. Having at least one or two soulful conversations in a week with the child is more than enough.

5. Practicing Kindness
Kindness can be seen in anything we do. It can be seen while helping others, while gifting others, while listening to others’ problems, while forgiving others, etc. When you make others happy through your actions, it’s kindness. This is also compassion. When the child practices all those activities once in a while, this will make him more compassionate to others. Self-kindness is also another aspect. Once you start loving yourself, forgive yourself, you will automatically feel compassion for others. Hence practicing kindness is beneficial for you as well as others.

Irrespective of gender, everyone must be compassionate, the world needs more kindness and love. It is always better to start at a young age and the above steps will definitely make your boy compassionate.