HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PARENTING?

HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PARENTING?

Toxic parenting need not always be intentional, some parents turn out to be toxic even without the intention to harm. The adult who has faced the toxic patterns of behaviour as a child will be unable to lead an independent and happy life. The parents who are toxic unintentionally must know if their parenting style is toxic and correct it before it is late. There are also ways to get it resolved mutually if it is already late, and the child is in adulthood. If one has faced the harm of parent, and if the parents don’t accept the time in young adulthood is the right phase to get a self-identity and move on. Here are some important things on how to deal with toxic parenting.

1. Set up your boundaries on where parents should stop

Some Parents would be toxic in their behaviours and would harm their children without a reason. Some can be toxic in the way of forcing the child to meet their expectations. One has to learn to be assertive though it is hard and draw boundaries on what a parent should interfere with and not interfere as a mature adult. One must learn to give up hesitations and talk clearly when any of the behaviour of their parents hurts them. Creative ways can be thought off to show how much toxic behaviour hurts if the parents fail to listen.

2. Tell them their mistakes

Toxic parents wouldn’t accept their behaviour. For example, The parent would just justify his mistakes if a parent is alcoholic and disturbs the peace of the spouse and kid. The parents who have high expectations of the child would also say whatever they do is for the good of the child. So, it is a must to express their mistakes and do what is necessary instead of being submissive and accepting their mistakes. Life gets hard when one tries to please the toxic parent.

3. Try to resolve the issues mutually

Not all parents who display toxic behaviours are really bad. Changing is hard if the attitude of the parent is extreme. Adulthood is a period where one gets mature and gets independent to move away from parents. If possible it is always better to express what one has gone through as a child and teen because of toxic parenting styles. Sometimes there is a possibility of accepting their errors. Seeking professional help is good if it isn’t possible and if one has trouble focusing on careers and academics in adulthood.

4. Know your needs better and work on it

A toxic parenting style means that as a child one would have to yield to demands out of force. It would be hard to resolve it and get to know oneself as self-identity might be broken. But, one would certainly know their needs. One must self introspect and work on their needs to get out of the trauma that a toxic parent has caused.

5. Check on your toxic behaviours

The trauma of toxic parenting has a high chance of being reflective in one's behaviour. So, be careful with your traits and behaviours. If it is hard to get rid of certain toxic habits by self seek support to get out of it. The relation with people around also can be disturbed if the trauma of toxic parenting affects. So, work effectively and understand the behaviours that might disturb the functioning of routine life.

6. Don’t be guilty when you are not meeting their demands

You must own your life. It isn’t necessary to meet the demands of a parent which is out of your interest. You need not sacrifice your wishes to meet their demands. So, do not be guilty when you take self decisions that don’t match your parent’s decision.

The transformation of a toxic parent isn’t always possible, but as an individual one can transform their thinking patterns. So, it is up to the individual to decide on what can be done to make life better without holding the grudge in mind. If you have one parent who is caring for real and another who is toxic, just go on with the teachings and values of your loving parent.